I am just someone’s thought

A Shakeel Badayuni Ghazal:

Meri zindagi pe na muskura mujhe zindagi ka alam nahin,
Jise tere gham se ho vasta woh khizaan bahar se kam nahin.

( do not make fun of my life, I have no unhappiness in my life,
For if associated with the pain given by you, even dark autumn seems like bright spring)

Mera kufr hasil-e-zuhd hai, mera zuhd hasil-e-kufr hai
Meri bandagi hai woh bandagi jo raheen-e-dair-o-haram nahin

( My lack of religious feeling comes from my devotion and my devotion comes from my disbelief,
My prayers are such that they are not indebted to or constrained by any place of worship)

Mujhe raas aaye khuda kare yahi ishtbah ki sautein
Unhein aitbaar-e-wafa to hai, mujhe aitbaar-e-sitam nahin

( I hope to enjoy these moments of doubt between us,
She does have faith in my sincerity, but I do not have faith in her cruelty/oppression for me)

Wahi carvan, wahi raaste, wahi zindagi, wahi marhale,
Magar apne apne maqam par kabhi tum nahin kabhi hum nahin.

( still the same caravans, the same paths, the same life, the same problems,
However sometimes you are not at your position and sometimes I change my position)

Na woh shaan-e-jabr-e-shabab hai, na woh rang-e-kehar-e-itaab hai,
Dil-e-bequarar pe in dinon hai sitam yahi ke sitam nahin.

( Today there is no “glory of the tyranny of beauty” and there is no “colour of the power of your anger”
The biggest cruelty that my heart full of desire feels these days is the lack of such cruelties from you)

Na fana meri, na baqa meri, mujhe ai “shakeel” na dhoondiye,
Main kisi ka husn-e-khayal hoon, mera kuch wajood-e-adam nahin

( Death is not mine, life is not mine, do not search for me O “Shakeel”
I am just the beauty of someone’s thought, I do not have a worldly existence among men)

Kanwar

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main azal se banda-e-ishq hoon, mujhe zuhd-o-kufr ka gham nahin
mere sar ko dar tera mil gaya, mujhe ab talash-e-haram nahin
meri bandagi hai woh bandagi, jo baqaid-e-dair-o-haram nahin
mera ik nazar tumhein dekhna, ba khuda namaz se kam nahin

( since the beginning of time I have been just a man of love, I have no concern with religion or anything irreligious,
My head has found your doorstep and that is where it bows, I need no other temple
My devotion is such that it is not confined to places of worship,
My looking at you just once was not less than a complete prayer)

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